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Abdicating Science aka Cleansing

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I’ve said it before, the country might not be worth saving. The evidence is pouring in.

Why we continue to abdicate on reason and science around here befuddles me.

The Local Coop, where I get my produce and meat is a great example. I’ve discussed the Republican War on Science here in this space. Here’s the other side of the coin, the Coop Conundrum. I don’t understand the relationship between locally grown food and lunacy, but there is something there.

My coop, like may, have a “natural health” section where sell a lot of snake oil and unproven remedies. It’s one of the last bastions of homeopathy I can find.

Last weekend two experiences there, the first I just witnessed. Woman asked an employee about pain remedies for chronic back pain. “have you tried stone therapy?” the clerk asked. I had to stop what I was doing to listen on this, and I wasn’t disappointed. He explained that carrying certain crystals and stones in your pockets would channel energy and relive pain.

I kept out of it.

But when I was approached by the woman trying to sell me a “cleanse”, to my discredit I couldn’t just walk away.

“Have you tried a cleanse before sir?” Apparently they had a box of shit for sale that you were supposed to live on for three days which among other benefits, makes you crap your weight over the course of the treatment, leaving you feeling lighter on your feet and in better mood.

No secret there, it is a universally accepted that the cathartic qualities of a good a dump can put one in a good mood, especially when one may have experienced some infrequency issues. There was time before boner pills became the rage that the TV was filled with ads for various remedies for people who were experiencing what polite company refers to as “irregularity”.

But a three day bender on the porcelain throne? That can’t be good for anyone, so I asked. Mainly because I was bored and because I knew there was going an interesting discussion with the lady on this… “I’m sorry I don’t get what this is supposed to do.” She explained to me that this product would work with my body, gently mind you, to remove all of the toxins that my body has a hard time eliminating and would leave me feeling refreshed and light of heart.

“Toxins?” I asked, “What toxins?” According to the Alternative Health Practitioner our bodies are inundated with assort toxins all the time. In the food we eat, the environment we live in, I got the impression that a fellow couldn’t hardly walk down the sidewalk without be assaulted by these toxins. I was confused a bit, “where are the toxins coming from?” They’re everywhere she said, in the environment, in our processed food supply, they’re everywhere.

Then she explained how the body works hard to eliminate this stuff, but in the modern world we’re just inundated, and our bodies are no longer able to keep up with eliminating this stuff from our systems.

And apparently it’s stored… in the dumper.

“Have you ever seen the waste that’s removed after a colonics sesson?” she asked. Apparently it’s years of accumulated toxins and hardened turns that never leave your body.

Never.

I looked at her.

“I’m supposed to have my 50 year old colonoscopy in a couple weeks, I’ll ask my doctor about this, I’m really concerned.” Not really.

“Well ‘conventional’ medicine is somewhat divided on cleanses and the benefits. The Medical Establishment would rather sell you drugs and procedures to cleanse your body than have you use natural alternatives.”

Love it when the “establishment” feels threatened by the fringe.

I asked “So then your cleanse is free?” She looked at me with a question, “Or are you selling me something also?” She did have a good answer and was starting to get a little pissy with my now unveiled attacks. “Just curious when you say medicine is ‘divided’ on these treatments, is it a 50/50 divide? 60/40, 99/1…”

“Sir, you have obviously believe in the Medical Establishment, so I wouldn’t encourage you not buy a cleanse. Go with what you are comfortable with.”

“How is it that the toxins get into the body” I asked. Frumpy looked at me “you eat them, you absorb them..”  Just for giggles I wanted to ask some scientific questions of her. “So is there a chemical channel in the body that allows this stuff to get into our blood? And how does it get from the blood to the colon?”

“Have you heard of a LIVER” she said.. smartly “Oh yes, I’ve been pickling mine for years, but my liver doesn’t send things to my colon, or does it?”

I had some more questions but apparently question time was over, she left me with the guy who was spouting about stone therapy and went off to drink her next cleanse shake.

Next week, the dangers of vaccines. This might be why we can’t have nice things as a country.


Filed under: Life Tagged: cleanse, colonics, coop, health, Homeopathy, medicine, porcelain throne, snake oil

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